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Robert Barron column: Let’s keep our “World’s Biggest Hockey Stick” title

A moose is not just a moose

There’s really an easy solution to keep Cowichan’s record of having the world’s biggest hockey stick.

All that would have to be done is to create an extension that is at least 46 feet long and attach it to the top of the rather large stick that has had a place of pride over the entrance to the Cowichan Community Centre’s arena doors since 1988.

By my calculations, that would make Cowichan’s large hockey stick, which was authenticated to be the world’s biggest hockey stick in the 2010 Guinness Book of Records, 251 feet long.

That would be one foot longer than the 250-foot hockey stick that is being proposed outside a recently approved ice arena dome in Lockport, Illinois.

Of course, the builders in Lockport could just as easily add two more feet onto their stick and reclaim the title, but we could do the same as well.

You can bet that the ongoing competition and the increasingly bigger hockey sticks would catch headlines around the world and put little old Cowichan on the map big time.

Once people around the globe get an eyeful of the many beauties of the Cowichan Valley, I bet we’d see a real boom in tourism here.

This might seem like a joke, but a similar rivalry grew between two communities in 2019 over who had the tallest moose statue.

At 32.1 feet tall, Mac the Moose in Moose Jaw, Sask., was considered the world’s tallest moose statue for years before it was discovered that the Norwegian town of Stor-Elvdal has a silver moose statue named Storelgen who was 33 feet high.

Not to be outdone by this European rival for the title, people in Moose Jaw decided to make a bigger rack for Mac (that hilarious headline with its implications went viral) and when it was put in place, Mac was almost 34 feet tall; tall enough to regain the title of the world’s largest moose statue.

What’s even more amusing is that the funding for the new $25,000 rack was donated by Moosehead Breweries.

Moose Jaw’s Mayor Fraser Tolmie and Stor-Elvdal’s Deputy Mayor Linda Otnes Henriksen then held a meeting in Moose Jaw and announced a “Moose Truce” in which Moose Jaw would retain its title and Storelgen the moose will “forevermore be known as the shiniest and most attractive moose in the world.”

Tolmie and Henriksen also bounced around the possibility of twinning their towns, as well as other tourism opportunities from the popularity of their moose feud for, what CBC described in a story at the time, both “moose-ipalities.”

The two politicians also made an agreement that Moose Jaw will celebrate Norway Day each May 17 with activities celebrating all things Norwegian, while each Oct. 15, which is Storelgen’s birthday, will be known as Canada Day in Stor-Elvdal, and similar celebrations of all things Canadian will be held in the town.

So I think we should send a challenge to Lockport stating that we aren’t about to give up our status of having the world’s biggest hockey stick without a fight.

We’ll tell them of our plan to make our stick bigger and see how they respond.

If my guess is right, they’ll take on the challenge and then camera crews will show up in Lockport and Cowichan to watch the fun.

I’m no engineer so I’m not sure of the logistics of adding at least 46 feet to our hockey stick, but I figure if there’s a will there’s a way, and just think of the publicity that we’d get as the international community watches to see how we’ll do it.

I’d say it’s unlikely that local residents will actually latch on to my plan but, as the old saying goes, when you’re stuck with lemons, make lemonade.

So let the games begin!

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