It’s October, the month of ghosts, ghouls and goblins, (and apparently Christmas too if you go to your local big box stores) and for me, nothing is spookier than change. But I’ve decided to do it anyway. On Oct. 1, I began a daily meditation habit. What parent doesn’t need more calm in their life? I want to learn to think less, multitask less, and to just let it be (…so says the delusional mother of two preschoolers…).
“What could give me peace?” I wondered to myself last month as I tried to make dinner with a child wrapped around each leg.
A proper vacation. Not going to happen.
Somebody to cook and clean for me. Not likely.
Meditation. That’s it. I’ll finally make it a habit. So here I am.
It’s hard to change. Old habits are hard to abandon and new habits are hard to create. In fact, I’ve tried to make this same change before but it’s never stuck. Maybe because I remember that part of that Eat Pray Love book when the writer, Elizabeth Gilbert, went on a retreat and, in her attempt at self-mastery, sat still while a gazillion mosquitoes ate her alive. Do I really want that in my life? The answer is no, so I’ve vowed to stay indoors at least for now.
I’ve also vowed to chronicle my journey (you won’t get to read that part). I love a good journal. Not just the old-school books of lined paper but the guided self-improvement, this-person-has-goals-they-want-to-achieve type. Sounds froofy right? But hey, I’ve got goals!
I lusted after a thick, beautifully designed journal last year and was fortunate to get one for Christmas. It’s a Daily Greatness one if you want to check it out. They’re cool, just a bit too involved for me. To be honest, I ditched it within a month because it began to feel like homework. In fact, I learned that self-analysis every single day was exactly what I didn’t want to, or rather, shouldn’t do.
Anyway, I found a more suitable journal. (It’s a Habit Nest, one called the Meditation Sidekick Journal if you’re curious). I should have known it was for me because although beautiful in its simplicity, like me, the cover is much less flashy.
But as whoever “they” are say, never judge a book by its cover.
I thought this journal was going to help me document my new quest but it turns out the journal is actually going to guide me through it! Unbeknownst to me it includes links to guided meditations and interesting podcasts and documents and stuff, so it’s way more than I bargained for.
What have I gotten myself into? But I can’t back out now.
Luckily, it’s only a 66-day journal because the scientists say that’s how long it takes to build a habit, and, well, I believe in science. And 66 is kind of a devilish number and I am beginning this during Halloween month after all.
Less than a week in, I will say that I’ve learned quickly that sitting still isn’t my problem. My problem thus far is anticipating when my family is going to barge in and set fire to my calm. Would them interrupting me count as a successful session that I could then check off in my journal as complete or would I have to start again? Do I have to lock myself in the bathroom for 10 minutes just to get it done? Does anyone else ever meditate in the bathroom? Scratch that last question. I don’t want to know. Would I just want to clean the bathroom once I got locked in there? These questions and more are all on my mind and likely a great indication of why, for me, meditation might help. Got tips? I’d love to hear them.
sarah.simpson@cowichanvalleycitizen.com
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